21 Thoughts every girl has while getting ready for a night out

Obviously had to go back to my 18 year old mentality for this because nowadays I’m boring af….

  1. Ah wine, how classy of me, I’ll be a sensible drunk tonight and just stick with this.
  2. Nope, Jesus Christ this tastes like vinegar and acid.  PASS ME THE VODKA
  3. Smoky eye or bright lip?  Obviously never both
  4. Nobody ever tells you how difficult it is to do hair and makeup when you’ve already been drinking. Why aren’t we taught these things in school instead of Pythagoras theorem?
  5. Hang on, why the hell do I look like I’ve been punched?! Should’ve gone with the bright lip.  Too late to start again?
  6. Tan or no tan?  It’s January so can’t go overboard otherwise it’ll look fake….
  7. Shouldn’t have blinked with the eyelash glue still wet, now my eyes are stuck open. Wonderful. 
  8. Playsuit, dress, jeans? Playsuit is cute but then there’s the bathroom issue.  Dress means you have to use more fake tan.  Jeans are too casual.
  9. Is it too late to stay home with pjs and takeaway?
  10. Yep, I’m already drunk, might as well make the most of it. 
  11. What was in that drink I just had?  Oh it was a mix of redbull, vodka, and sourz.  Delightful
  12. Spanx to cover the party girl bloat or just embrace it? 
  13. Fuck.  Forgot to shave, what could go wrong with doing it now?  
  14. Turns out I’m a lot more drunk than I thought and now I look like I’ve fallen into a pile of razors.  Jeans it is.  
  15. I actually look nice tonight, I should take a picture to commemorate it
  16. Jesus am I THAT shiny?! Why do I call these people my friends if they don’t tell me I look like this?
  17. Oh and now my phone’s got no storage and I’ll have to delete those 346738 screenshots
  19. Why did I buy shoes with straps?  Why are these straps so bloody difficult to do up? They’ve been on no less than a minute and I can’t feel my toes.  But they look fabulous so I must suffer.
  20. Far too excited for that 3am kebab.  
  21. Good God I feel sick.  Must be the driving, definitely can’t have been those three jagerbombs I necked. 

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