Thoughts everyone has during a hangover 

I never used to get hangovers.  I could go out, rock up home at 4am, go to bed and be up at 7am feeling fresh as a daisy and go about with my day as a functioning adult.  Now a night out takes about the same recovery time as minor surgery.  

  1. Well I don’t feel too bad, this is looking good, maybe I can have a productive day, get to the gym, make myself a decent person….. ah. It’s 5am, I got home 2 hours ago. Must go back to sleep
  3. So thirsty. Must be a sign I didn’t drink enough last night and that’s why I’m horrifically dehydrated 
  4. Where’s my bag?! Fuck I’ve lost my bag and that had my phone, my makeup, my purse and my keys in
  5. Hang on how did I get inside if I’ve lost my keys?
  6. Oh there it is, dumped in the bathroom next to last nights heels. Logical. 
  7. Who the hell are these people in my pictures?! Did I leave my phone out somewhere and- nope. I’m in the pictures too. 
  8. Ugh who cooks bacon this early in the morning?! 
  9. I’m going to be sick. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. 
  10. Maybe I’ll just sit against the bathroom door and the feeling will pass…..
  11. Nope. Nice. 
  12. Ok so I feel a bit better now, but my head is pounding. 
  13. Do I still have enough alcohol in my system that if I take painkillers I’ll die???
  14. If not, is it possible to die from a hangover?
  15. Must update Facebook status so everyone knows how bad I feel this morning. 
  16. Good god I’m hungry. 
  17. Ooh pizza! 
  18. One hour delivery time. Of course. WHY IS THE WORLD AGAINST ME?!
  19. Oh god who did I piss off last night?
  20. Now I need to imagine some scenario that definitely didn’t happen but my hungover brain will trick me into thinking that it definitely did and now everyone will hate me. 
  21. Hahahahaha who let me withdraw £40 last night? What did I even spend it on?!
  22. Going by the pictures it was jäger. Lots and lots of jäger. Classic. 
  23. Definitely didn’t take off my makeup last night and now I’ve ruined the last six weeks of cleansing and toning. 
  24. Today will be sent wallowing in self pity combined with copious amounts of tea and friends reruns. 
  25. Comedy Central isn’t showing friends. What circle of hell am I in?

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