20 Things that happen when the sun comes out in England

We’re not a nation of sun worshippers.  Let’s be real, our transport systems cannot cope with any form of extreme weather – the slightest hint of snow and the rails close down, sunshine and the roads start melting! We’re a very traditional bunch, accepting that rain is a frequent thing and when it doesn’t appear for a while there is just chaos.

  1. Beer gardens suddenly become acceptable any day of the week.  Post work pint? Saturday morning brunch? That’s your weekend sorted as long as the sun lasts
  2. Pimms and lemonade sells out EVERYWHERE.  However nobody you know actually drinks it though….
  3. Likewise swimming pools and inflatable unicorns.  (Yes I own one, thank you Primark!) You eventually give up and buy a childs paddling pool from Tesco for £10 just so you at least have something
  4. Everyone complains how tired they are because they just cannot get to sleep at night
  5. You have four potential things to Instagram; a pair of sunglasses, a cocktail, the beach or park, or the classic “hot dogs or legs” ….and people say we’re a predictable generation!
  6. You’ll swear you will never complain about it being too cold again, while knowing full well that as soon as it gets back to normal you’ll be the first to say “I wish it was hot”
  7. It becomes completely acceptable to complain about the weather to everyone you meet
  8. You’ll wear the new sandals you bought and instantly blister.  You’ll power through and wear them for weeks on end, only to have the weirdest tan lines known to man
  9. You open your window at night to get some non-existent air in and suddenly the cast of a Bugs Life are in shooting the second film.  
  10. You’ll go to the park for the first time in 3 years and immediately be attacked by wasps, ants and a rogue dog chasing a ball.  Instantly remember why it’s been 3 years since you last went to said park.
  11. Approximately 83% of your day will be spent talking about the weather and how you just can’t believe the temperature today. I MEAN LOOK, IT’S ALL OF 25 DEGREES
  12. You’ll suddenly end up with streaming eyes, sniffling and sneezing constantly.  Thanks hay fever you boo
  13. The weather will take you by surprise and you’ll realise you only own black jeans and no summer tops?! 
  14. Every male within a 20 mile radius suddenly decides they’re in Baywatch and has to walk around with no shirt on, showing off their horrendously sunburned skin
  15. You end up comparing your sunburn with your colleagues as if it’s some weird competition for who can most resemble a drumstick lolly
  16. Your daily cups of tea are replaced with ice creams, sorbet, slush puppies etc. anything to cool you down
  17. 178492 fans suddenly make an appearance in your office yet everyone is still too hot
  18. Your legs will be shaved for the first time since December, no biggie or anything
  19. People will drive past with their windows down blasting some form of crap music (I’d say 17 year old boys in their KAs but around here it’s more than likely a 30 year old bloke showing off his fancy car) 
  20. Chub rub.  That is all. 
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