Getting married “young”

I’m 23, Ben’s 27. Personally I wouldn’t say we’re that young to be getting married but SO many comments have come flying about how we are….I’m at that point in my life where half my friends are having kids and buying houses, and the other half are passed out in a gutter every Friday and Saturday night.  I was 21 when we got engaged and there were a few raised eyebrows from various people. We expected it of course, we’d “only” been together just over a year but had actually been talking about getting married within a few months of knowing each other.  

I learned throughout the planning process people will have their opinions, make comments and pass judgment but ultimately I didn’t care.  However there are a few answers to the generic questions that I did find funny.

No I’m not pregnant

The first thing people assumed when we got engaged was that a baby Pearse was imminent and we were getting married before that. There’s obviously nothing wrong with that, and if that’s how your situation is, you do you boo.  But I wasn’t pregnant, my mum asked when we told her but laughed as she said it, Ben told his gran we had some news and she instantly asked if I was pregnant.  People will assume that if you get engaged young it’s because you’ve got to.  I know so many people who have kids but aren’t married and it doesn’t affect them at all. 

No, we’re not rushing into things

Funnily enough we’re more than aware that marriage is a big commitment, it’s not a snap decision we made one night after a few too many drinks.  (Again, if this is your situation go you!) we sat and talked about it, we had a discussion about money, babies, where we want to live, just to make sure we were both on the same page.  After all, it would’ve been very awkward if we’d got married and then found out after that we’d got completely different life goals.  

Yes, we know it’s expensive

The thing with weddings is as soon as you add that ‘W’ word in the price suddenly skyrockets. We know we’re going to have to be the boring couple who aren’t up for spending all their money on takeaways and nights out, and we’re going to have to sacrifice a fair bit for “just one day” but it’s our day.  We want it to the best it can be and we’re willing to save for as long as it takes to get there.

We know you think it won’t last

Like I said, eyebrows were raised when we got engaged.  People who’s kids were our age and they couldn’t imagine them getting married yet, or felt we were rushing into it, and that we’d just end up being a statistic. The thing is we actually – wait for it – love each other.  I know.  Imagine that, a 21 year old knowing that the person she’s with is the one she wants to spend the rest of her life with!  We’ve learned that some people will keep their judgements to themselves, others will happily voice them quite loudly.  We just hope people will support us regardless.  

We’re not going to be an old married couple

Nights out will still happen, just because we’ll be Mr & Mrs doesn’t mean we can’t do shots at the bar.  We’ll still have nights with friends, shopping dates, meals and days out.  We’re not different people who suddenly play bingo but have to be home by 9pm.  We’re still the same people, we just have a ring and one of us has a different name that’s all. 

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