“So when’s the baby?!”
I’ve genuinely lost count how many times I’ve been asked when we’re growing our family since we got engaged. When we first got engaged a few peoples automatic reactions were that I was pregnant, or a baby was going to be making an appearance very soon. We both wanted to get married first, I wanted the same last name and to be a little ‘unit’ and yes, there were days that were harder than others. I’m at an age where friends are having babies and my Facebook feed is constantly full of scans or “welcome to the world so and so!” and seeing that constantly does make the old ovaries ache!
The thing is, we don’t know yet if we can even have kids! Naturally we hope we can, we want our own family but there’s this insane pressure on people to get married and then pop out a sprog within a year. I will do a public plea now to anyone who knows someone getting married. Please don’t ask when the baby’s due, or if they’re planning on one soon. You don’t know what’s going on in their lives, they may not be able to have kids, they may have miscarried, they may not even want kids! I remember a few years ago seeing a picture that said never ask a woman if she’s pregnant – even if she’s in labour, you do not ask if she’s pregnant because it’s rude. Take that approach!
In a complete contradiction to myself, I don’t mind close friends or family asking because I know they have a genuine interest. If we haven’t spoken in years, or we’re not actually that close it does make me wonder if you’re just looking for a bit of gossip or if you do actually care? We’re not going to shout about our plans, they’re for us and we don’t need the added pressure of people knowing the ins and outs (pun not intended) of our lives. When we do decide to have kids, we will let people know when the time is right.
Until then, it’s our little secret